Welcome once again to another edition of "Best Of/Worst Of Character Moments".
Today's subject for my appraising eye is "Clash of the Titans"... the original one with Harry Hamlin. Let's take a look at our main characters and see if they're really heroes, or just putzes.
Expect several special 'awards' in this one....
And since I can't really put it in the main categories, I'm giving a SuperSpecial KUDO here to Ray Harryhausen.
We'll be calling the following Main Protaganists:
Perseus: He of demi-god status, who seeks to rescue the love-of-his-life-after-spying-on-her-sle
Zeus: Yah, I can accept an argument that as a God, he's a bit above this category. But he interferes a lot, and he's on the side of our hero, so I'm counting him.
Ammon: General guide and assistant to the newly minted hero during his quest.
Thallo: Loyal guard to the city-state of Joppa.
Andromeda: Who refuses to sit on her pampered, princess ass when her people are endangered.
Our Characters... HEROES, ALL!
Perseus: For all Perseus' supposed heroism, if you really look, he needs to have his ass saved a lot. But, where he does legitimately shine is in his defeat of the gorgon, Medusa. He earns his KUDO.
Zeus: I do give Zeus a Half-KUDO for his finding ways to help thwart Thetis' tantrums, without causing a full on rebellion among the gods. I especially liked his giving Perseus a second wind, but otherwise not directly interfering with the fight against The Kraken.
Ammon: As much as I liked Ammon, he is the exposition dumper and doesn't earn a kudo.
Thallo: I give Thallo a Half-KUDO for the showing he made against Calibos and the giant scorpion attack. I wish he didn't die, but until Calibos backstabbed him (literally), he was holding his own and helping Perseus.
Andromeda: I gotta give a lot of respect, and therefore a KUDO to the princess for accepting her horribly unjust fate on behalf of keeping her people safe.
I guess I have to give Thetis a Half-KUDO for her cleverness. Time and again she thwarts Zeus' will, but in such ways that she can get away with it, and he's left to figure out a counterplan to her treasonous actions.
I guess I also have to give Calibos a Half-KUDO for his bullwhip usage... the man was talented.
On a more positive note, Bubo the Mechanical Owl gets a KUDO for saving the day! Really! If it wasn't for the comedic sidekick, Perseus' defeat of the Titan wouldn't have happened at all.
Our Characters... UGH (roll eyes!):
Perseus- Oh, Perseus, you fukkin' IDIOT! Ugh, I'm so angry that of all the places you could fly in order to distract the Titan while you're messing around with untying your cloak to get Medusa's head, you choose right in front of the Kraken's face, and well within striking distance of its arms. DEMERIT! (and you were almost responsible for killing Pegasus, you dimwit)
Zeus- Zeus, Zeus, Zeus: So many, many reasons to hand out a demerit. For our purposes here, I give a DEMERIT for wiping out every living thing in Argos, people of which had nothing to do with you seducing the virginal daughter of the King of Argos, or his barbaric response. You murdered innocent men, women and children!
Ammon- The old man doesn't embarrass himself. No demerit earned.
Thallo- Okay, blabbermouth. I have to hand my movie boyfriend a Half-DEMERIT for being a datadumper, especially with information that shouldn't just be given out to any ol' stranger... like which exact room is Andromeda's bedroom.
Andromeda- Our princess-in-peril doesn't do anything stupid to make the situation worse and she doesn't earn a demerit.
Okay, so we're not even a minute in and we have our first special DEMERIT to the King of Argo, who sets his daughter and her baby out to sea, entombed in a floating coffin for sluttery and getting knocked up.
Another special demerit comes for Calibos, demi-god as well. Since he's a villainous man, he doesn't get a demerit for the evil shit he does. But I can and do deliver a DEMERIT for extreme stupidity. You don't nearly wipe out the favored flying horses of Zeus and expect to skate by consequence free. Moron.
I did consider giving Cassiopeia a half-demerit for comparing her daughter's beauty to Thetis', in the goddess' own temple but I don't believe for a moment that Thetis was as insulted as she played. I'm letting it slide, even though it was unwise.