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11 December 2018 @ 11:07 pm
I've been going through recent posts.  
.

...  And I gotta say that I'm falling into a dark space, in which I think that this is all worthless. I had typed this whole rant, which I then deleted. It seemed too mean spirited to actually post.

  But the bottom line has been, that I feel like I'm paying for nothing. I feel like NOBODY is actually reading anything I post, despite my work on reviews, because my readers have overall relocated to Dream... Something-or-Other (my mind says DreamCast? but I'm not sure) in order to avoid Russian-Bots/actors/government.

I get it. But, I don't truly understand it. I'm not sure that anyone is reading any of this other than Russian 'Bots and that isn't enough. Everything comes to an end. Maybe it's time to let this die and cancel my entire account? Maybe it's time to move on.

I never finished what I wanted... but that is my own fault, as I expanded from posting Spanderverse (in which I still fantasize, but typing and removing my better-self is difficult, as I want so badly to self-insert) to posting BTVS reviews (which I feel I did a good-to-very good-job of being fair), to expanding to AtS reviews (although, only the comics, I haven't even gotten to the end of S3 BTVS, so I could start on AtS, S1!) and then to movie reviews I felt needed more exposure -- or just really liked (It's hard to justify JAWS or ALIEN as needing exposure, admittedly). And then expanded further, because of my own lack of focus to SPN and TWD and 70's highlights like The 6 Million Dollar Man and its spinoff, which may have been my first exposure as a young gay, who didn't get it yet, to crushing on a woman -- Lindsey Wagner and Lynda Carter were my touchstones to trying to force myself to being "normal" in the early-80s, and Kolchak - whose series easily inspired Fox Mulder and Dana Scully later... so many youth touchstones we can go back and watch to remember what it was like when we were young, and - dare I say it: I DO - sheltered.

But it's a different world, now. And I feel more and more like I'm just holding a place but not actually engaging. Maybe this is all stupid, maybe it has been all along. I don't know what I should do! Is there anything on the site worth holding onto? Is there any reason to continue forward, at least until I breathe my last?

Is anyone bothering, or am I posting in a void??

.
 
 
Current Mood: I had to update this too, due to misspelling. Damn it.
 
 
 
Barbrahirah on December 13th, 2018 01:14 am (UTC)
Well, I have an RSS feed of your reviews over on Dreamwidth, so that if you post anything Buffy-related, we still link it in the Herald.

Thing is, Livejournal is dying as a platform for fandom, largely of self-inflicted wounds. Dreamwidth is chugging along, though it's a much smaller service -- it's even having a surge of sorts, because Tumblr just banned all adult content, and fandom is abandoning it in hordes. How long that will last, I don't know, because Dreamwidth doesn't have the graphics capabilities that Tumblr users are used to, and I don't think it's very likely that it will get them any time soon.

The other option is Pillowfort, a new service which is aiming to combine the best features of LJ and Tumblr. However, it's in open beta, and its servers frankly weren't ready for thousands of Tumblr refugees. It's having severe performance issues, and besides that, it's just not finished yet; many features remain unimplemented.

So if you're looking for a bigger audience, you could A) create a journal on Dreamwidth, and crosspost to Livejournal (this is what I do); B) Create a Tumblr account; despite the recent Troubles, that's where the majority of fandom is right now, and it's large enough that it will take many years to die, just as LJ has; C) Create a Pillowfort account and hope that it will overcome its growing pains and become the Next Big Fannish Thing.

I dunno if any of those things are things you want to do, but you do write good reviews, so I think people would want to read them if you made them available in the places where most of the people are these days.
lycomingstlycomingst on December 13th, 2018 04:27 am (UTC)
I read you.