harsens_rob (harsens_rob) wrote,

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Best Of / Worst Of Character Moments: Steve Austin


Best of / Worst of: The Six Million Dollar Man

Episode: Wine, Women, and War

Main Players: Steve Austin, Rudy Wells, Oscar Goldman, Harry Donner, Cynthia Holland

Our Characters Are Terrific!

Steve: Steve's able to stop Findletter's fiendish plot because he uses some reverse psychology to trick him into giving him a knock out drug into his bionic arm [which fortunately doesn't then short circuit]. It's a Half-KUDO.

Rudy: No kudos to Rudy.

Oscar: I have to hand it to Oscar for being clever in maneuvering Steve into "escaping on a vacation" exactly to where Oscar needed him to be. KUDO [though it's kinda scummy, Oscar].

Harry: I'm going to issue Harry a Half-KUDO for getting Findletter's catalog of customers.

Cynthia: No kudos to Cynthia.

Our Characters Are Jackasses!

Steve- Steve is so busy playing the hero, that he doesn't do the logical thing and call Oscar to arrange for special forces to take down Findletter at his base and stop this entire plot in its tracks... and then has the nerve to set off a nuclear missile, irradiating the Bahamas on top of it! DEMERIT.

Rudy- No demerits to Rudy.

Oscar- Oscar Goldman gets a DEMERIT for not calling the Secretary of the Navy and having the Poseidon's test launch delayed or its course altered to avoid the Bahamas because of a suspected hijacking plot. In fact, the launch would've been cancelled immediately while every single crewman who even glanced at the sub had a complete background and security review done. Thanks for not calling anybody, Oscar.

Harry- Harry is a bit of a jerk. But worse, he's also clearly a suck-up and petty on top of it. He gets a general Half-DEMERIT for being.

Cynthia- No demerits to Cynthia.

Our main bad guy, Findletter, has the WORST watchmen in the history of lazy boat guards guarding ever. They fail to see a man on a balcony and a submarine at sea flashing secret light signals at each other OVER THEIR YACHT. DEMERIT. [Oh, and they also manage to blow up their boss' yacht.]

I have to also issue a Half-DEMERIT to Findletter's Bahama Base guards who apparently don't keep track of one another or question when a limo driver who should be driving the boss around vanishes right after delivering him when he's ready to leave again. They're not nearly paranoid enough.

I've got a DEMERIT for Alexi, the Russian Agent who lets himself get exposed to toxic gas rather than attack Findletter who is standing a foot from him.

I've got a DEMERIT for Katrina, the Russian External Security Undersecretary who allows her fellow agent and herself to be exposed to killer gas instead of stopping Findletter who was mere inches away from her.

Findletter gets a DEMERIT for his generally lack security, especially inside his base of operations which is tragically inept and doesn't even come with security cameras in the hallways.

The U.S. Navy gets a DEMERIT for having such lax security that canisters of poison gas are able to be snuck aboard this brand new prototype, nuclear powered, nuclear armed submarine.

Tags: best of/worst of moments (six mill dolla

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