July 26th, 2018


Piranha II reviewed: part I


Piranha Part II: The Spawning

Starring: Tricia O'Neil, Steve Marachuk, Lance Henriksen, Ricky G. Paull
DIR: James Cameron, Ovidio G. Assonitis, Miller Drake

Blurb: Club Elysium may seem like paradise, but just offshore a new breed of terror has been unleashed, and no one is safe from its savage, insatiable hunger.

While investigating the mysterious death of a diver, scuba instructor Anne Kimbrough makes a horrific discovery. Piranha-like fish, with wings that enable them to fly, are responsible. As the body count rises, Anne desperately tries to convince the resort's manager to call off the annual fish fry on the beach -- but he's determined to give his guests the ultimate 'feeding frenzy'.

My Blurb: Y'know, I love a killer animal flick - truly. But I swear, if I run into another "we can't close the beach/woods/main street/tournament" because we need the "tourist dollars/ad revenue/prestige/new jobs", despite a rising gruesome death count, I'll literally scream.

If your blurb is basically, "This is Jaws. Replace our animal with a Great White. We have no imagination," then stop. Go back and do a re-think of the premise. Call a friend who usually has really clever ideas to pitch in.

(Also - 'interactive menus' & 'scene selections' are never a Special Feature/Bonus.)

Collapse )