harsens_rob (harsens_rob) wrote,
harsens_rob
harsens_rob

What We've Become....



My friend sent this out to her email list for a laugh. The funny thing (in that not-very funny way, like hitting your funnybone) is how pathetically true it is:

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1959 vs. 2009

Scenario  1:

Jack  goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school
parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1959  - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car
and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2009  - School  goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and
never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized
students and teachers. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Scenario  2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1959  - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up
buddies.

2009  - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and
Mark.. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though
Johnny started it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Scenario  3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1959  - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by
the  Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt
class again.

2009  - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is
then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because
Jeffrey has a disability.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Scenario  4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping
with his belt.

1959  - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college
and becomes a successful businessman.

2009  - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster
care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that
she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.  Billy's
mom has an affair with the psychologist. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Scenario  5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1959 - Mark  shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking  dock.

2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug
violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Scenario  6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1959 - Pedro  goes to summer school, passes English and goes to  college.

2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation
is racist ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system
and Pedro's English teacher.  English is then banned from core curriculum.
Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living
because he cannot speak  English.. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Scenario  7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them
in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed..

1959  - Ants die.

2009 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged
with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents  -- and all
siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated.
Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly
again..

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Scenario  8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found
crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort  him.

1959  - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing..

2009  - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She
faces 3 years in State Prison.  Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Laugh, then cry, then role your eyes and wonder if we'll ever get to a place of common sense again.
Tags: cracked, humor
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