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Scene 40: Smirky is still in her bedroom when she returns, though he has put on his pants. He complains that his ears popped from the vacuum she left behind when she rushed off to Steve [OH SHUT THE FUCK UP, RIGHT NOW, SMIRKY!].

She gives him the brush off after getting [barely] dressed.

How can the killer fish be stopped? And by which hero?Collapse )
26 July 2018 @ 05:52 pm

Piranha Part II: The Spawning

Starring: Tricia O'Neil, Steve Marachuk, Lance Henriksen, Ricky G. Paull
DIR: James Cameron, Ovidio G. Assonitis, Miller Drake

Blurb: Club Elysium may seem like paradise, but just offshore a new breed of terror has been unleashed, and no one is safe from its savage, insatiable hunger.

While investigating the mysterious death of a diver, scuba instructor Anne Kimbrough makes a horrific discovery. Piranha-like fish, with wings that enable them to fly, are responsible. As the body count rises, Anne desperately tries to convince the resort's manager to call off the annual fish fry on the beach -- but he's determined to give his guests the ultimate 'feeding frenzy'.

My Blurb: Y'know, I love a killer animal flick - truly. But I swear, if I run into another "we can't close the beach/woods/main street/tournament" because we need the "tourist dollars/ad revenue/prestige/new jobs", despite a rising gruesome death count, I'll literally scream.

If your blurb is basically, "This is Jaws. Replace our animal with a Great White. We have no imagination," then stop. Go back and do a re-think of the premise. Call a friend who usually has really clever ideas to pitch in.

(Also - 'interactive menus' & 'scene selections' are never a Special Feature/Bonus.)

Just when you thought one Jaws knockoff with piranha was enough....Collapse )



Scene 35: In The Chariot, Penny grabs the radio to try to warn the other Robinsons. She tells them that she's the daughter who doesn't want to drive the Chariot over a cliff right now, and would really like them to respond. Which, they don't, to her wry look - quickly replaced by fear.

Penny races to save her family.Collapse )
22 July 2018 @ 03:12 pm

Lost in Space
Season 1, Episode 2

"Diamonds in the Sky"

DIR: Neil Marshall
Writers: Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless

Blurb: Another crash brings more travelers to the planet, as the Robinsons work to salvage their ship with help from their mysterious new companion.

The Robinsons find they are not the only survivors.Collapse )

14 July 2018 @ 01:57 pm

I know. Once again, I've sorta let a few weeks go by somehow without a review. It's my bad. It's just a rough summer, that I won't bore you with whining about. But I'm working on two reviews right now:

Lost in Space, S1 E2
Piranha II: The Spawning

And then I'll be working on BTVS, S3 E - whichever one I'm on now.
And then 4th is going to be the Giles limited comic series that I turned out not wild about, damn it.

So, I haven't been ignoring reviewing. I've just been distracted by The Blahs.


Tags: ,
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
29 June 2018 @ 12:51 am

Random Love: Julienne Moore.

I feel, at this point, like I need to acknowlege Julianne Moore, for her embodiment of characters across the spectrum. She's been gay-positive, and she's been "why can't you just be normal?!" characters. And this is brave... On both sides. Either you're "on the conservative side" ... and think that faggots/dykes are 'destroying America' or you're "gay-is-A-Okay" and playing an accepting character.
Continued opinionCollapse )

18 June 2018 @ 02:09 pm

The X-Files
Season 1, Ep 12


Writers: Chris Carter
DIR: Larry Shaw

Blurb: Mulder and Scully join forces with an inspector from Scotland Yard when a man with pyrokinetic powers stalks members of the British aristocracy.

My Blurb: Just an FYI that in addition to the usual spoilers for the whole episode, this review contains semi-graphic screencaps of burn injuries, for those so affected.

Scene 01: We open in Bosham, England at a country house with a gardner and a chauffer seeing to their tasks. An older gentleman kisses his wife goodbye in the drive as he sets to leave for London (for, as we know - London is the only city that England has).

Our upper crusty dude gives a morning greeting to the workman, one of which is Cecil.

As our gentleman is waving back at wife, Cecil is staring hard at Upper-Crusty, and suddenly the man's arm lights on fire!
As we know, when facing a raging fire, stand and exclaim rather than evacuate. A lesson that everyone should be tought.Collapse )

11 June 2018 @ 12:54 am

Kolchak: The Night Stalker
Season 1, Episode 4

"The Vampire"

Written by: David Chase & Bill Stratton
DIR: Don Weis

Blurb: The victim of a vampire in accidentally resurrected outside Las Vegas, and she makes her way to the City of Angels where she becomes part of the world's oldest profession.

Scene 01: We start with Carl on a jet flight. As he's cruising above the world, he's - of course - busy speaking into his tape recorder. He records that a road crew in Las Vegas was digging up for a new highway south of the city. It would be helpful to thousands of people... but for one, it would be A NIGHTMARE!

A slow start, but a strong finish.Collapse )

Current Mood: tiredtired
04 June 2018 @ 07:02 pm

Scene 40: As they're racing away in a purloined Jeep, Grogan asks if Maggie has a dime.

This was so that he could stop at a payphone (ask your parents) and call the summer camp grounds to warn them not to let the children go in the water. Naturally, he babbles about killer fish, so is unbelieved by Mr. Dumont, who accuses Mr. Grogan of drunk dialing the camp... again.

With this a bust, Paul and Maggie race down toward town.

But they're then intercepted by a Sheriff's department patrol car. They can't outrace a patrol car in a Jeep.

They try to explain to the deputy about the piranha, but like Mr. Dumont, he is a) unconvinced that this isn't a hoax and b) recognizes Grogan as the always-drunk asshole who lives above the town. It seems that Grogan has had run-ins with the law before.

They're taken into custody, by the fast-to-draw-his-gun deputy.
It is CHAOS! CHAOS! But an awful-lot-of-fun chaos.Collapse )

04 June 2018 @ 06:32 pm


DIR: Joe Dante
Starring: Bradford Dillman, Heather Menzies, Kevin McCarthy

Blurb: An army laboratory conducting top-secret genetic research on piranha for biological warfare accidentally releases their experiments (no they don't... that would be the good guys) in the water supply... and the fish are headed downstream toward a summer camp.

Scene 01: We open on a downward pan shot at night from the top of a security fence as ominous music plays.

Old, wore out signs report that this is a restricted area and there is to be no trespassing.

Out in the night, young girl and boytoy are hiking near Stageset Creek. They're following Stageset Creek just to see where it goes, which leads to our "No Trespassing" sign. Boytoy says it looks like the place has been deserted for awhile, whatever it used to be.

Our two adventuresome kids head on inside through the in-disrepair chain link fence.

Girl wonders why the place isn't shown on Boytoy's map. Obvs, nothing happens and they spend a boring night under the moon... hah, no...

There is always some damned scientist mucking about.Collapse )