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05 January 2015 @ 09:00 am
Movie Reviewed: Frankenstein '80 (part 3 of 3)  
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Scene 58: The police meanwhile, with Karl, are rushing out of the front of the clinic to jog down to the Frankenstein home, when Sonia is rushing up to them.

She manages to faint into Karl’s arms before she can tell them what has her in such a state, but the police can guess. They rush off again for the doctor’s home.


Scene 59: There they find Otto hacked up, but no sign of Mosaic.


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Scene 60: At police HQ, Karl plays the entire tape of Otto’s virtual confession and finds out the extent of Mosaic’s health problems as well as the implication of why Fritz was drained of his fluids for the creature’s use.

Chief Inspector just wants to find the monster, but Karl corrects him that he’s a man who has had a barbaric fate thrust upon him. Detective Partner to Detective ‘Stache agrees that Dr. Frankenstein was the monster here -- though he does look a bit abashed at saying so in front of Sonia.

Karl shares that the man appears to be set to die in between 36-48 hours in any event. Assistant Inspector gets the usual “science is so irresponsible, we should just stop studying anything” speech.


Scene 61: Meanwhile, Mosaic has chosen to spend his last few days of life hanging out suffering in a dank tittie bar… with one stripper on a dark, bare-bones stage to low key somewhat generically jazzy music… As you would.

We get to watch an extended striptease with cat calls. After her set, she goes back to her dressing room and probably wonders where she went so wrong. She doesn’t bother putting on a robe or anything.

She starts to go through a curtain in the dressing room, but guess who is hiding out waiting for her? He immediately puts the mad strangle on her. Then feels up her boobs.


Scene 62: That night, patrolmen are looking for the creature. They’re trapped in blue tinted day-for-night, making the search more difficult.

A patrol reports in about the stripper’s strangulation death.


Commentary: As you can probably tell, the story is pretty much over now. It ended at the conclusion of the Doctor vs. Creation battle and should’ve ended with both of them dying in each other’s arms as they managed to kill one another off.

But far be it from me to get in the way of your enjoyment of more nudity and death before we finally close out this tragedy.



Scene 63: We now follow a pair of feet down some back alley. This turns out to be a random man who I believe may be a night watchman of a junk yard or mechanic’s yard or may just be a dirty bum down on his luck looking for a place of respite for the night.

Anyway he settles down among some random detritus to enjoy a sandwich when he hears crashing nearby. This gives him the heebee-jeebees. He stumbles among the wrecked cars [Ah! It’s a badly filmed auto yard!].

He finds a deeper corner to hide in and goes back to his sandwich with some “zany comedy music” to accompany him. He grunts a lot while he eats.

Suddenly from off screen, he gets punched and knocked to the ground. Mosaic then picks up a large piece of metal and advances on the stricken, terrified man. He slams the man’s head, killing him. And then continues his wandering into the night.


Commentary: Okay, I don’t even know. Seriously, what the hell was that scene about, why was it needed and what was with the sudden few seconds of an attempt at comedy out of nowhere? Why are we not ending this in a hail of bullets, already??

I mean really, you could’ve at least had Mosaic trying to perform a brain removal in his desperation to find a way to save himself… even though he killed the only doctor who could’ve helped him. That would at least give a point to this utterly random killing.

On the other hand, at least it wasn’t another woman tossing her boobs out before she gets bashed.



Scene 64: Somewhere the following day, a shot car race is going on. We follow some guy watching the cars racing before he rushes off to the bathroom. He reads the paper while he’s whizzing. We see Mosaic’s feet under a stall door. He randomly comes out to bash the guy’s head against the bathroom wall… randomly.

The cars continue to race.

Mosaic wanders away from the Whizz-Room.


Scene 65: That night, the police are rushing to the race track murder.


Scene 66: Meanwhile, Karl calls Sonia to take a taxi to the paper as he’s worried about her being in the house alone until Mosaic is stopped. He calls her darling, so apparently her fainting in his arms was enough to kick off a romance.


Scene 67: The “monster” has been made public and tv news announcers warn everyone to keep a close watch.


Scene 68: Somewhere else -- Karl’s apartment? He and Sonia commiserate about the horror just long enough to make it seem less out-of-left-field when they immediately start making out.


Scene 69: Elsewhere, a couple are in their car on a dark lane. They make sure they’re alone before starting to get busy.


Scene 70: In a part of the city where night hasn’t really fallen yet, the Chief receives a report from the stripper club. He orders men to stay there. The radiomen broadcast that no one is going home for the night sarcastically, which… y’know… seems unprofessional and stupid considering the Chief gets broadcasts as well.

Night very suddenly does fall.


Scene 71: We rejoin Mosaic out on his murderous wandering.


Commentary: Oh, for fuck’s sake. Now the film is really just a series of random scenes trying desperately to find a way to connect with the film’s end and but not quite sure how to arrive with 5 minutes left to burn up.

I’m suddenly more sympathetic to the IMDB scoring on this one, and it’s really unfortunate because the film was coasting through a 3.25 out of 5 stars pretty easily until it started all of this ridiculousness.

Yep, folks. It’s another film that ends up disappointing me when it had my good will throughout [okay there was that moment of estrangement when the meat counter woman popped her own top to be groped by the mad man, but we recovered and I thought we were going to be friends].



Scene 72: Chief Inspector drives the city streets randomly.

Mosaic wanders aimlessly.

Police Inspector drives randomly.

Mosaic wanders aimlessly… until he finally sees the car with our making out couple. He startles the woman and pulls the random horny guy from the car. His head is slammed repeatedly against the car, as our woman runs screaming for her life into the woods.


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Obviously, the woman is topless [although I don’t think we got more than her naked back, but I’m not going back to check].


Scene 73: Elsewhere the police get the report of the couple being attacked in the park and are rushing to the scene.

The sky can’t decide what time it is, or whether full night has arrived anymore and so does a funky samba between blue and black throughout the scene swaps.


Scene 74: At the park, police take photographs and gather evidence. The police start to fan out throughout the woods. Chief Inspector is annoyed to find Karl arriving on the scene. They discuss that the creature’s time is running out.

Karl tells Chief Inspector that he’s headed back to the house to stay with Sonia.


Scene 75: Sonia and he canoodle over drinks, when Mosaic is very suddenly there with them. Karl pulls out his Reporter-Fu, though it has little apparent effect on Mosaic.

As Karl fights for his and Sonia’s life, she naturally enough stands there making little gasps sounds of fright. Apparently running is something she can only do if she’s instructed to by a man and, well, let’s not even suggest she grab that handy lamp nearby and clobber the attacker.

Karl starts to get choked out, while Sonia watches with apparent interest.


Commentary: Seriously? What the hell was with Dalila Di Lazzaro gazing around over Mosaic’s shoulder while he was choking her supposed boyfriend to death??


Scene 76: In the meantime, the police get a suspicious persons call. The Chief recognizes the location as Karl’s address and heads over there on the double.


Commentary: And by the by… just WHY does everyone in Italy seem to have German names?


Scene 77: At Karl’s, Sonia tries to stand out of the way, while not losing her spectator seat to Karl being strangled.

This is inter-cut with lots of shots of racing police cars with sirens and Chief Inspector shouting for men to converge on Karl’s.

Over at the house, our reporter is near to unconsciousness and death when Mosaic suddenly stops, looking particularly sick and pasty faced. He grabs at his face in suffering, while Karl takes the time to recover and rush into Sonia’s arms.


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Mosaic stumbles around as his brain finally melts into goo and his head and eyes bleed. As the police sirens are getting closer, Karl and Sonia retreat. Mosaic is covered in Fritz’ blood and teeters on the edge of falling over.


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Commentary: *SIGH* Really. This movie is about 15 minutes too long. I just want it to end already and we keep getting pointless shots of Chief Inspector barking orders into his car mic… NOBODY CARES!

I am going to give some love to the splashy effects of Mosaic’s ending though.



Scene 78: As Mosaic finally collapses, Karl and Sonia rush out into the yard just in time for Chief Inspector to arrive with backup. With Karl reporting that Mosaic is finished, the police department can finally have that smoke that they’d been denied while the case was ongoing.




The Good: I did enjoy the idea that Dr. Frankenstein has an entire surgical and lab suite hidden right under the Professor's nose in his own clinic from which to do his experiments. It's also nicely able to cover for just how the morgue attendant can keep up with supplies without resorting to the home basement lab.

At first, I didn't like the two killers thing happening but I found myself really warming up to the differences between the doctor's calculated murders and Mosaic's thuggy behavior.

I also found myself getting pulled into the emotional relationship strongly hinted at between Otto and Mosaic, though I wish more had been done with that rather than with the police work.

I really liked some of the death scenes, including the Professor's and Fritz'. Even the beginning murder on the steps was well handled, especially the impromptu surgery for the liver.


The Bad: The day for night shots and the inconsistent skyline is really noticeable. Continuity is a freind, invite it to your film!

It would've been nice if logic had played a larger role... like knowing the difference between a professor and a practicing surgeon, not having the only known formula for a groundbreaking advancement not recorded anywhere in case something happens to the only sample - especially since the Professor seems unable to remember just how he created it in the first place so can't just replace his stolen jar of stuff. In fact, in general, let's just place most of the setup scripting for the plot right here.

We also really go on and on for a while before anybody we've been introduced to actually gets a damned name, which is always irritating when you know the character is somebody that should be remembered going forward.

If there is anything that really bugs me, it's nudity scenes that are filmed in such a way that the director is practically hanging out in your ear whispering "oohh, tits... don't you love a good set of tits" while then showing the woman dead or dying. It's just... repulsively sleazy and I hate particularly the entire butcher's clerk murder scene because of it.

The way that Otto Frankenstein's culpability was found out is just horrible scripting, straight up.

I really didn't like the 1970's camera work done for the attack on Otto Frankenstein by his creation. It was distracting, confusing and just ugly to look at.


Other Thoughts: I was going to put the musical score into the good, but then came some bizarre choices - especially that inappropriate tune for the stripper and the comedy seconds that ruined it. Plus, I could swear that the main tune is derivative of something else... maybe 'Cat O' Nine Tails? But I did like most of the musical soundtrack.

There is some really clumsy dialog going on to introduce roles, but otherwise the conversations between characters were okay. A lot of it could've been cut, really, without impacting anything but I find this in a lot of films that have a run time to fill without enough story plot to get it done.

The death scenes were relatively well handled, but the ending killing spree was really coming after the proper plot had ended. This needed to be 15 minutes shorter than it was because at the end it really started dragging horribly with unneeded and wasteful jump cuts to police cruisers traveling.

Sonia is very obviously introduced only to end up with Karl and I could see several ways she could've been better incorporated into the plot. As scripted though, she's superfluous. I did like the actress' work for what little she actually was given to do.


The Score: I started out dreading the film, but things picked up and I was really having some fun with it. But then the story came to a natural ending, but the movie continued on into randomness which just got on my frickin' nerves. While I thought that the film was doing well enough in the middle, the beginning and the ending were just too ridiculous or drawn out to do anything but erode my good will.


2.50 out of 5 stars.



Next up: We'll dive back into our television series, starting with Buffy, Season 3, Episode "Band Candy". We'll also be adding two new series to our review workload for some reason: The Six Million Dollar Man, starting with the tv movie "The Six Million Dollar Man" and Kolchak: The Night Stalker starting with his made for tv movie "The Night Stalker".


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